The decisions we make and the way we behave are what ultimately shape our character. Charles A. Hall aptly described that process in these lines: “We sow our thoughts, and we reap our actions; we sow our actions, and we reap our habits; we sow our habits, and we reap our characters; we sow our characters, and we reap our destiny” (quoted in The Home Book of Quotations, sel. Burton Stevenson [1934], 845). It is within the family that our behavior is most significant. It is the place where our actions have the greatest impact, for good or ill. Sometimes we are so “comfortable” that we no longer guard our words. We forget simple civility. If we are not on guard, we can fall into the habit of criticizing one another, losing our tempers, or behaving selfishly. Because they love us, our family may be quick to forgive, but they often carry away in silence unseen injuries and unspoken heartache.
Negative criticism is intended to hurt and often to defame and to destroy. This caustic communication is cruel, and it tends to crush the character of all of those about whom it is directed. King Benjamin urged his people to “not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably.” (Mosiah 4:13.) We should surely follow this counsel and defend those who are defamed by these denouncements.
“The ‘do your own thing’ trend has interfered with people developing close and trusting family relationships. It tells people that they are neurotic if they feel a sense of responsibility for the feelings of other family members. People are also told to "let all their feelings out", even if it is very hurtful to someone else.” (Special Section Families, U.S. News and World Report, Inc., 16 June 1980, p. 60.) As Dr. Salk states, this is, of course, patently wrong. Without discipline and obedience, the unity of the family collapses.
The dictionary defines the word loyal as being “constant and faithful in any relation implying trust or confidence; bearing true allegiance to the constituted authority.” (Britannica World Language Dictionary, s.v. “loyalty.”) If family members are not loyal to each other, they cannot be loyal to themselves.
For those of you that actually read this...I am interested in your thoughts. Please comment.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words To Each Other
Deep Thoughts by Ashlee at 6:18 PM
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1 comment:
Wow Ash, very interesting. I think a major theme here is that our character is sown by our thoughts and actions, and because of the comfort level, it is in the family setting where our true self comes out. As a side note, it is in the family setting where we can effect more lasting change within ourselves. ie if we can change our thoughts and behaviors around the family, then we are truly changing.
I think the part on "let all our feelings out" is very thought provoking. It is quite true that there is a sense out there that it is better to speak your mind no matter what. But we forget about the cost our words might have. Better to think before we speak.
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