How do I Love Thee?

The Message: How Do I Love Thee?
By Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

I wish to speak to you about Christlike love and what I think it can and should mean in your friendships.
After a long, wonderful discourse by Mormon on the subject of charity, the seventh chapter of Moroni tells us that this highest of Christian virtues is more accurately labeled “the pure love of Christ.”
“And it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him [and her].
“Wherefore, … pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons [and daughters] of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; … that we may be purified even as he is pure” (Moro. 7:47–48).
True charity, the absolutely pure, perfect love of Christ, has really been known only once in this world—in the form of Christ Himself, the living Son of the living God. As in everything, Christ is the only one who got it all right, did it all perfectly, loved the way we are all to try to love. But even though we fall short, that divine standard is there for us. It is a goal toward which we are to keep reaching, keep striving—and, certainly, a goal to keep appreciating.
Mormon explicitly taught that this love, this ability we all so want, is a gift. It is “bestowed.” It doesn’t come without effort, and it doesn’t come without patience, but, like salvation itself, in the end it is a gift, given by God to the “true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.”
The solutions to life’s problems are always gospel solutions. Not only are answers found in Christ, but so is the power, the gift, the bestowal, the miracle of giving and receiving those answers. In this matter of love, no doctrine could be more encouraging to us than that.

The first element of divine love—pure love—taught by both Paul and Mormon is its kindness, its selfless quality, its lack of ego and vanity and consuming self-centeredness. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind, [charity] envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own” (Moro. 7:45). Love for others blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves. Christ’s was a great example for us through the atonement, and it ought to be more evident in the kindness we show, the respect we give, and the selflessness and courtesy we employ in our personal relationships.

The second segment of this scriptural sermon on love in Moroni 7:45 [Moro. 7:45] says that true charity —“is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity.”
Think of how many arguments could be avoided, how many hurt feelings could be spared, if we were not so easily provoked, if we thought no evil of one another. Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad.

In Mormon’s and Paul’s final witnesses, they declare that “charity [pure love] never faileth” (Moro. 7:46; 1 Cor. 13:8). It is there through thick and thin. It endures through sunshine and shadow, through darkest sorrow and on into the light. It never fails. So Christ loved us, and that is how He hoped we would love each other.

In a final command to all His disciples for all time, He said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you” (John 13:34; emphasis added).